Clematis
by YourMiniMonster
Summary: One small mistake leads to the untimely death of Annabel Swan. However, fate has another idea in store for the young teen. Unfortunately, it doesn't involve a beating heart. Pre-Twilight.
1. Chapter 1

**-Clematis-**

 **One small mistake leads to the untimely death of Annabel Swan. However, fate has another idea in store for the young teen. Unfortunately, it doesn't involve a beating heart. Pre-Twilight.**

 **A/N: I've made slight changes to Charlie's age, making him older than he was in the book when he met Renee so I could manipulate it to fit into my story. Also, I felt I should mention, this does eventually lead off into Twilight and the other three books. But it begins before Bella is born, around the time Renee and Charlie are still together.**

 **Anyway—I apologize for any spelling errors, I'll most likely come back to re-edit. Enjoy, feel free to review if you wish.**

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 **1987 – June 24** **th**

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I don't remember how it happened.

I don't remember it at all.

All I _did_ know was that he needed me, yet I couldn't force myself through the front door. The guilt at that point was enough to eat me alive and I couldn't help but laugh bitterly at the irony of it. My stomach flipped and churned, leaving an uncomfortable pain in its wake—quite similar to hunger pains. The burn in my throat was pushed aside with ease and in its place a deep sensation of regret.

My hands were already trembling as I played with the hem of my torn, not to mention rain soaked, shirt. I haven't showered in a month, I came to realize. But there didn't seem a point to it any more. I didn't smell and at first I was shocked at the discovery, yet now there was very little to be shocked over. Life is nothing but a sweet little lie. Death is just a cold reminder.

Any still, I couldn't hold ether. I didn't know if I was alive or dead or somewhere in between, all the while being stuck in a world of torment because I just couldn't _knock_ on a stupidly breakable door. It was ridiculous, never in my whole life had I been scared of walking into my own home—though, I doubt I could call it as much any more.

All I wanted at this very moment was my dad and I was struggling to even go through with it. He would have the answers, wouldn't he? A dad is supposed to help his daughter in her utmost time of need, it was in his nature to protect and guide but for the first time I held the painful feeling of dread because what if he didn't recognize me? _I_ barely recognize _me_.

My stomach twisted again and I felt my eyes cloud over, blurring my vision. I bit down on my lower lip, raising my hand to knock before freezing and dropping it back down to my side in defeat. Why couldn't I do it? It wasn't hard. Just a simple tap, really—it wouldn't cause any disastrous effects, would it? Dad might go into shock and Renee... I swallowed thickly, Renee might go into an early labour if I startled them with my sudden appearance. I couldn't allow that to happen, it would just cause a huge mess.

Maybe I could catch my dad before he heads off to work in the morning—does he even still go to work?-or maybe I could wait until Renee leaves. Either way, it was bound to cause a ripple effect. I surprise dad by showing up out of the blue, he calls Renee, Renee goes into shock, premature baby is born.

I shook my head furiously. It might not work out like that. Renee doesn't seem like the type of person to simply go into shock, or a panic either. She would be elated, or maybe she wouldn't. I could never tell with her. If anyone has the ability to shock me, it would definitely be that woman. No normal person has her type of reactions.

"She's not coming back, is she?"

The voice startled me, slightly muffled through the door. But I heard it as clear as day, as if the person were standing right next to me. However, it was the familiarity of the voice that caused me to stiffen and my head to snap round at the door, as if attempting to see through it. I listened closely, hearing two fluttering heartbeats coming from inside.

I held my breath, waiting for them to continue.

"Charlie..." it was Renee, concern lacing her usually light and airy voice. I held back a snort. "Please, tell what to say to make you feel better."

" _Nothing_ is going to bring back my little girl," I swallowed at the sound of his voice and the guilt doubled, hitting me harder than before, almost knocking the air out of me. Dad didn't sound like dad any more. "You heard them, they're no longer looking for her, they're looking for her _body_." his voice cracked and I clamped a hand over my mouth, stopping the small whimper before it could escape me.

Suddenly, my resolve began to wane and I took an unsteady step back off the porch. It felt like something was pressing down on my chest, ready to crush me. It caused my knees to shake and tremble, ready to give out on me. My throat clenched tightly while I held back a sob and my eyes continued to blur with unshed tears.

I wanted so badly to scream and shout. _I'm here, I'm here. I'm fine, I'm right here._ I wanted to scream it so badly but I held myself back.

"Charlie, we don't know-"

-"No." dad mumbled, causing Renee to hesitate "There was too much blood, I- _we_ saw that. As much as I want to believe, god I _want_ to believe she's alive. It's been two months Renee, she would have turned up otherwise. I just want to find her," he sucked in a shaky breath "And bright her home."

"Just like that?" Renee's cold tone startled me and I blinked up at the front door in bewilderment. "You would give up on Anna? She could be out there _right now_ and you're just giving up?"

 _Renee. Always the god-damn optimist._

"Enough, Renee." dad grumbled back. I could almost picture him in my head, his hands tugging harshly at his hair and his eyes clenched shut in frustration—attempting to rein in his emotions. He was never really good at emotional displays of affection or anything really. Yet, I was the one this time. The one that caused him this grief and he couldn't even show it without feeling ashamed. Probably trying to play the martyr, to look strong in front of his wife.

A fat load of good that did. Renee is _relentless_ when she's determined. She would poke and prod and eventually dad was going to snap, I just couldn't tell when or how. It was always a guessing game when it came to him.

"No Charlie, _not enough._ What if it was Bella? What if it was her out there?" I stilled further, blinking once again, shock brushing against my insides.

"Bella? What-"

-"Your daughter." Renee corrected in a clipped tone and for a moment I thought I was going to lose balance of myself and topple over.

"But I thought we were going to wait until..." his voice drifted off in a whisper, clearly just as shocked as me. "Bella," he repeated, as if in a daze.

"Isabella," Renee murmured "Bella for short."

The noise of quick footsteps met my ears, chairs shifting and fabric ruffling. The two fluttering heartbeats from inside were steady and even, one slightly faster than the other. I listened closer, my brow puckering in concentration and I leaned forward an inch, straining my ears further.

 _Ah, there it is._

A third heartbeat. Quieter but just as loud now that I was focusing in on it. Realization now hit me and all I could do was stand there with conflicting emotions. Happiness, sorrow, worry, anger.

 _I'm going to be a big sister._ The thought startled me and I took a step back. It was the first time I ever thought about it, even before the big change. I knew I was going to be a sister before, but now knowing the gender made it all the more real. Putting a name to something I could only imagine to what it- _she-_ will look like.

Would she look like dad or Renee? Or maybe a mix of both? What would she be like?

The influx of questions continued to zoom around in my head, but only one brought me back down to reality. Barely a question, more of a statement. _She can't know me_. It was enough to rip me apart as more guilt trickled in and I took one more step away from the house, now fully ignoring the conversation behind the door. It was as simple as that. I couldn't bring my sister, who wasn't even born yet, into harm's way. It would kill our dad if anything happened to her too.

It was in black and white, as much as I protested against it, I knew I was dangerous. I could feel it inside me like a caged animal, wrestling against the bars and screeching to be let loose. I'm a monster and I couldn't handle the thought of my own dad fearing me, let alone a little sister.

My decision began to firm up the more I thought about it. If I just stayed away then I could ensue the safety of my family, I wouldn't have to worry about bringing them harm. But at the same time, I was very, _very_ selfish. If I stayed I could make sure nothing bad happens again, or anything as bad as what happened to me.

I would just have to stay out of sight.

All I needed to do was watch from afar.

It would be enough, at least for now.

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 **Perhaps you're wondering about the whole 'poor newborn control', and I will answer you this, everything will be revealed in due time. But for now, I will mention that Annabel has a slightly larger grip on her self control, but it does not mean she can't slip up. As for her diet, I will leave that for the next chapter.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Another quick instalment of _Clematis_. Slightly longer than the last chapter. I apologize in advance for any spelling errors. Enjoy, feel free to review. No pressure.**

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 **1987-August 3** **rd**

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 _It's bigger._

My mind was still wrapping itself around the prospect of being a sister. But there were so many things I didn't know, especially when it came to pregnancy. From June that hopped to July and eventually followed closely by August, Renee's stomach seemed to bloat further and faster than I would have thought possible.

The changes were subtle at first, her stomach stretching little by little to the point it looked like she swallowed a watermelon—a very _large_ watermelon. The air around her had changed too and at first it confused me, but then I took in the small scents that radiated from her body. Sweet as nectar, soft and smooth like honey and light and airy like freesia. My mouth had watered at the scent, burning like acid at the back of my throat. I could practically taste it on the tip of my tongue any time the window was open around the house.

But then I remembered who I was smelling and I had to force myself to swallow back, shame washing over me when a quick fantasy of draining the woman flicked through my mind. It was something I wasn't prepared for, especially in this new life—if that is what you could call it. It didn't feel like I was living at all. I spent most of my time perched in a tree, watching my old house as if it was about to crumble at any second.

I barely ever looked away. Or even moved from my spot.

Since making my decision to stay—or stay out of sight—I had only moved a handful of times since June. The first was when Charlie and Renee left the house, I had slipped inside an open window. I went straight up to my room, which I was surprised to discover hadn't been touched since I left. All expect the lingering scent of Charlie and something else, perhaps my own scent, I couldn't be sure.

The bed, that was pushed against the window, was still a mess. I had forgotten to make my bed the day I 'disappeared'. Even random articles of clothing still littered the floor. It was like Charlie was trying to preserve my room for the day I returned home, but I knew that was never going to happen—not in the way Charlie wanted it. I was, in a sense, home. But not how I would have liked it to be.

I had stolen a few pieces of clothing from my wardrobe and a small duffel bag to store them in. I didn't take much, just enough to go unnoticed.

Other than the one time I had went into the house, I had wandered off a few time too. This new idea of living was very difficult, even more difficult with the lingering burn in my throat. Resisting Charlie's blood was almost easy, but with the added scent of my new sister had caused Renee's scent to become highlighted and stronger. Pulling back once taking a whiff was like someone dangling a piece of chocolate in front of your face but saying you couldn't have any.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to harm Renee, despite my slight dislike of Charlie's new wife. Instead, I wallowed in self pity.

I had only eaten a few times since finding myself less than human. The first time was the worst. I didn't know what was happening. Being lost and confused, covered in your own blood in the middle of the forest didn't help any ether. It was like coming out of a deep sleep. Misty and hazy, everything felt distorted and out of place. But I quickly came to realize it wasn't the forest that was the problem, it was myself. _I_ was out of place.

I had sat on the forest floor for a long time, weeks perhaps, before my throat felt like it was bursting into flames, leaving me writhing against the wet ground. It was almost like convenient timing, the more I thought back to it. A small, brown and gray rabbit had come upon the scene—completely unaware of the danger.

The tiny heartbeat was enough to send me into a frenzy. My body acted all by itself, shoving every logical thought far away into a deep dark corner. It was like I was feral, completely uncontrolled and wild. The rabbit didn't make much of a fuss, it only took a few seconds for it to die and for me to drink every last drop of blood. The heart stopped faster than I thought possible and the blood drained quicker than I would have liked.

But the blood helped. My throat didn't feel as raw as before and my mind finally snapped back to reality to see what I had done.

I sat still for more time after that, cradling the small, dead animal in my arms and more guilt plagued me. I killed a small, defenceless creature but at the same time I felt relief.

By the time I started to register the severity of the situation, I was already barrelling through the forest, knocking over trees in my path while trying to find a way out—trying to find my dad.

That was just a little under two months ago now.

When I did need to eat, however, I always seemed to leave it to the last minute. Until I could no longer handle the burn and would have to force myself out of the tree to look for more rabbits. I'll admit, trying to catch a rabbit is a lot harder than it seemed. All I kept coming across were elk or deer, which I refused to eat or drink from. I didn't know if it would cause me any harm to drink from other animals, all I did know is that rabbits helped the pain. I refused anything else.

No one would miss a rabbit or two, I knew that much. But even with killing a few rodents, the guilt was still there—though it lessened each time I did it. Either way, I called myself a murderer for hurting such small and cute little animals. At least it wasn't another person I had harmed, I don't think I could handle that.

But still, I ate very rarely. I didn't like having to suckle the blood of an animal to survive. The food I used to eat, before become this... _thing_ , didn't call to me in the way blood did. I had smelt the food Charlie ate, or whatever horrifying concoction Renee seemed to create—I came to the conclusion it smelt worse than dung. Unappetizing, making me want to throw up.

I had tried, of course, during the last time I snuck into the house after I gathered a small pile of clothing. There was leftovers in the fridge—chicken, now that I thought about it. Despite the smell it gave off, I had stuffed it into my mouth, stupidly thinking it would help and that maybe I was just going insane and I wasn't...whatever I am now.

I was horribly mistaken. The moment it touched my tongue I was already spitting it out, heaving without restraint and rubbing my hand across my tongue to get rid of the dirt like flavour. It would be fair to say that I wouldn't be eating solid food any time soon. I stuck to the small fluffy animal to survive.

Unfortunately, the longer I waited to eat, the more weak I became. It didn't help matters that Renee's scent strengthened any time I grew hungry. She was like a siren, attempting to bait and lure me into coming to her. Only she was the victim. I tried my best not to fantasize about how she would taste, which proved much more difficult the longer her pregnancy spanned out. I had to remind myself constantly who she was and _who_ she was carrying.

But my resolve didn't break. I didn't actively seek Renee out and I didn't linger where her scent was strongest. I stayed rooted to the tree, my nails digging into the bark and leaving permanent crescent moon indentations.

It was painful, but enough. As long as I could see Charlie then I was happy—even if he wasn't. It was better this way.

Unfortunately, the straw that broke the camel's back was one fateful Saturday night, near enough midnight. Renee, it would appear, is a nocturnal creature that often prowled around the dark house after Charlie had gone to bed. At first I wondered if this was due to her pregnancy, but later decided it was just amusing to watch her with an almost constant scowl on her face while grumbling incoherent things under her breath.

It gave me entertainment and I was glad.

Sadly, today wasn't one of those days. Renee had decided a late night bath was in order. Charlie didn't object, he wanted her to be as comfortable as possible before the baby was born. I could see his logic, Renee looked like she was ready to pop at any moment.

The bathroom window was cracked open only slight, enough for me to smell the different type of bath soaps that Renee was using. Lavender played a huge part, it seemed. It made my nose itch a little, it didn't smell as nice as it used to.

I could hear Renee humming to herself softly, the sound of water sloshing occasionally followed by the sound of metal on skin, creating a long and low 'zip' like noise. It went on like that for a small time as I watched the small flickers of light coming from the bathroom—Renee most likely decided upon using scented candles, if the smell of cinnamon told me anything. It didn't smell quite so natural. But it wasn't unpleasant.

The sound of sloshing water continued until finally there was an audible hiss. I tensed, hearing Renee moan softly, grunting out a tiny 'ow' of pain. My first thought was perhaps she was having contractions, or maybe the baby was finally coming.

But when the subtle scent of copper drifted up my nose, I found myself tumbling back out of the tree. A growl had ripped itself out of my throat before I even touched the ground, my body suddenly felt like it was on fire with need.

I caught myself before I landed, twisting my body until the balls of my feet dropped soundlessly on the wet ground. I was already in a crouched position before I even knew it, my eyes staying trained on the bathroom window and I felt my mouth watering, my hands curled into small claws as they flexed. The muscles across my body coiled, begging me to move. For a moment, I was going to allow my new instincts to take over.

My thoughts were already fading into a thick mist, the sweet nectar scent still wafting around me.

"You alright, Renee? Thought I heard something," Charlie's gruff voice brought me back down to reality and I froze before I could take a step forward, my breathing stilled—enough for me to understand what I was about to do.

"Yeah," Renee grumbled back "Just cut myself while shaving..."

I didn't stay to listen to their conversation, I was already hurtling through the forest as their voices drifted off. I blinked back as my vision clouded, my throat felt both thick and burning, shame seeping through me.

I thought it had gotten easier, but I had never smelled fresh blood until that moment. But that was all it took to shake things back up, I wasn't in control as I thought I was.

If this is how I reacted to Renee, then who knows how I would react to a newborn baby? I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I hurt Bella.

For the first time, I wished I wasn't so alone. I wished there was someone there to help me. But who would I even ask? Who else could run without tiring? Or go months without sleeping, and still feel fine? Who else _drinks_ blood to survive?

A small sob cracked through my lips as I continued to run, no destination in mind.

 _Just what the hell am I?_


	3. Chapter 3

**1988-January 8** **th**

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Five months passed without incident.

My time was spent trying to rein in my control, even if it meant starving myself. I didn't return to Charlie's house, not when there was a chance I could potentially find myself blood-crazed. I didn't know why I hadn't taken the precaution beforehand, maybe it was because I was desperate to see my dad. Or maybe I was just too damn selfish.

Whichever the reason, I was just desperate to fix whatever was wrong with me.

Unfortunately, my restraint was just as terrible as before—though, I could say it was slightly better, but still very poor. I was hoping it would be easier, but I was sorely mistaken. A few months of testing myself only raised my restraint by a few small seconds.

Fresh blood still caused me to freak out and it wasn't even human blood I was using.

My diet was still strictly rabbit and I have _finally_ come to see them just as a food source, I barely ever felt guilty about it now. The downside, however, was when I would test myself by using a rabbit. A small nick on the hind leg, enough to draw blood, was my tactic. I would use my nail to cause a small cut before letting it go.

After that, I would try to withstand it as long as possible. I barely last five seconds before diving after it. It was a cycle, one I couldn't seem to break no matter how hard I tried. Finding a way around it was proving impossible, though there was always the option of holding my breath—which I discovered, didn't cause me much discomfort. But it didn't feel right, not to breathe.

So I continued, day after day—hoping, _praying_ I would get better. But at the rate I was going at, it would probably take years to get myself under control. By then I could easily be dead by then, for all I knew—whatever was wrong was me—could just be some disease, slowly killing me. I could die within the next few hours and I wouldn't even know it because everything felt normal but not _exactly_ right.

I had to be sick. There was no other explanation and it wasn't like I could ask Charlie without risking hurting him—if I did, he would be sure to drag me to the hospital and that wasn't a pleasant thought _at all._ If it was one thing that could frighten me, it would definitely be a hospital.

Other than my tests and failure to control myself, I made one new discovery. While rain was a common occurrence in Forks, we did have the occasional day of sun—though it never lasted long. It was three months ago now since the fated discovery.

I hadn't expected it. It was the furthest thing from my mind, I never thought anything like it was possible—but lately I've been having a lot of shocks, but it came to no real surprise. I was almost expecting it to happen most of the time, to figure out something new. But the latest discovery definitely had me stuttering, no real words could describe how I felt when the moment came.

It went like any other day, I would try miserably at restraining myself against rabbit blood but only this time was it cut short when sudden light pooled through the canopy of the forest, bathing me in a light glow. At first I thought I was seeing things. My hands, a shade paler than white, began to glitter and sparkle like tiny little diamonds were embroidered into my skin, causing light to bounce off and land across the forest floor as multiple colors swirled around from the reflection—something similar to a rainbow.

The longer I stared, the more real it became yet I still couldn't believe it. My jaw fell slack and my eyes stretched wide in awe. I had wanted to see if the rest of my body glowed too, but decided against it. I had only seen my reflection once since waking in the forest, when I had come across a thin river that cut through. I didn't want to see red eyes glowing back at me—or the image of something that wasn't _me_ , so I didn't openly search for a reflection.

But my hands I could settle with.

It only happened once and that was when the sun was out. I didn't _glow_ again after, but I guessed that was all down to the fact there hadn't been any sun lately. I was almost looking forward to the next time it was sunny, even if it was to see myself light up like a disco ball—it would give me piece of mind, knowing I hadn't thought it up. But still, the sun didn't shine through the constant looming gray cloud that seemed to circle around Forks.

But going back to my tests, I still found myself going nowhere. The most I had done in the past few days was pace the length of a small clearing, barely stopping. Starving myself didn't help me and even once I had fed I still found difficulty. I had briefly entertained the thought of eating more—since I only ate one or two rabbits at least every two or three weeks. I couldn't handle the thought of destroying a large population of the tiny creatures.

Once or twice I had thought about taking down an elk, but veered my thoughts elsewhere. It scared me, imagining myself tackling the large forest animal. I was scared of getting hurt. Rabbits were never an issue because they were so small, though slightly larger than domesticated rabbits. I may think myself slightly stronger than before, but I still thought the same. Coming toe to toe with something larger than myself was terrifying because I didn't know how the outcome would end.

Imagining myself wrangling an elk just plain freak me out—but it didn't mean I hadn't opted out of the theory of that it _may_ help my hunger. The last thing I wanted was catching some other disease from trying to rip the throat out of a flighty creature.

I wrinkled my nose, coming to a halt and clenched my fists. I curled my lips, revealing my teeth as a small hiss escaped against my limited control.

The earthy, coppery scent entwined with the gentle wind reached my nose. Against my better judgment, I leaned into the smell, sighing softly. My mouth had already begun to water before I pulled myself back and flexed my fingers.

 _Not rabbit._

I inhaled deeply.

 _But not human either._

I sighed once again, absently running a hand through my tangled and untamed hair. My throat buzzed with heat and I swallowed back, gnawing on my lower lip in frustration. The wind blew again and against my control I could already feel a growl vibration in my chest. My muscles bunched, readying itself to leap, my body already crouching down to spring.

The thick mist of hunger had begun to cloud my mind, all logic drifting off.

I shot off like a bullet before I even knew it. It was like I was looking through tunnelled vision as the scent grew stronger. It was like something else was controlling my body. Excitement shot through me, lighting my insides and tingles washed down my body in anticipation. I had never smelled anything like this before. Sweet and earthy, but not as good as Renee's scent.

Whatever it was, I wanted it.

Time slowed down as I found myself airborne, soaring through the forest with need. My arms had already creating a barrier, spread wide as my gaze narrowed in on the luscious smelling animal.

Huddled low against the shrubs, wide olive eyes glinted. Muscles flexed repeatedly under sandy fur and skin. A brief nose twitch brought my own scent down against the spying animal and in one smooth motion, the large head shot to the side—ears perked up and tail flopped down low against the ground.

If I had control of my body, I would have already been running for the hills. But this wasn't a normal situation. The strong heart beat echoed, slowly becoming the only thing I could hear—enticing me, as if to greet me like an old friend. I had already slipped, there was no forcing myself out of it. No going back, I wanted this, if not needed.

Before the wild animal had time to make a move—or find my location as I sped toward it at a blinding speed, my teeth were already latching onto its throat and my arms created a strong cage around it.

The thrashing did nothing as it fought and snarled against me. But I didn't feel pain like I expected. The long and sharp claws didn't cut my skin as I expected. It was like nails down a chalkboard as it ran its claws across my flesh, but the noise didn't shake me—I barely paid it any mind. The only thing I could focus on was the warm liquid as it pooled into my mouth and I eagerly drank all I could.

 _It tastes better than rabbit_ , a dull whisper of a thought trickled into my mind.

I could have gone on like that for awhile, happily lapping up the copper goodness as if it were my last meal. But it came to an end far too fast, leaving me growling in annoyance as the animal flopped against me, the strong heart beat from before ceasing altogether.

I pulled away reluctantly, pushing the carcass away in the process and huffed in annoyance.

My hands brushed against my knees, as if to wipe off any invisible dirt. However, I stopped when something warm and sticky caught my attention. Lowering my gaze swiftly, I blinked down at the mess before me.

My shirt was torn in several places, hanging from my body in different places like shredded ribbons. Blood dripped slowly down my front and onto my old and worn jeans. I blinked again. I knew I was a messy eater but...

I shook my head and stood. I still had some clothing left from what I had taken. Though I rarely changed, I didn't like the idea of walking around in filth—let alone blood. I may not be as clean as I like, but who the hell would offer me a shower without thinking that something is wrong? Besides, you never know who you can trust these days. I wouldn't risk putting myself in harms way despite the fact I just took down-

"Wait what?" I squeaked, head swivelling round to gaze upon the dead carcass of a mountain lion. Another squeak escaped me, a hand flying up to my mouth in shock. "How the...?"

The thick haze was broken. My thought came flooding in and I didn't try to stop it.

 _I took down a mountain lion, a freaking_ cougar. The thought was played on repeat like a broken record, but the fear never came. I could only feel shock. I was scared of tackling an elk—perhaps a deer at most, yet here I was. I took down a dangerous animal, much more dangerous than a silly herbivore and I didn't even have a scratch on me. Not much could be said about my clothing, unfortunately.

My shock began to dwindle the more I started at deceased animal and I didn't know which was more frightening, the fact that I could have been harmed—or the fact that I wanted to do it again.

Either way, one thing was certain.

I was full for the first time in months and it felt _good._


	4. Chapter 4

**I would like to thank the two lovely people who reviewed me; _Baxteropolis_ and _Debbie Hicks_ (though I hadn't a clue what you meant with your review) thank you. Another thank you to those who faved a followed. **

**A/N: there may be a few spelling errors, if there is, I apologize.**

 **Side note: In the next chapter, there is going to be a few time skips, but not much.**

 **Anyway, enjoy.**

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 **1988—February 13** **th**

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Progress.

I didn't know how I managed it or where I found the patience, but that was just it—progress. From five seconds to five minutes, slowly stretching out to almost a full hour, all in the space of a month. The measly five second immunity I built up over five months looked pathetic compared to now and what I had accomplished. I hadn't felt more proud of myself, almost buzzing with excitement.

The mountain lion, despite the spur of the moment, had given me the go-ahead and extra push I needed. Though I hadn't built up the confidence to meet the mighty beast in battle again, it gave me the miracle I needed to move forward. The blood, though more sweeter and delicious than that of a measly rabbit, had kept me going for a solid three days before I felt the hunger pains once again. And that was just it.

I needed to eat more—or if not more regularly to build my immunity.

It took exactly one week to muster the courage, but eventually I did it. Taking down a deer was child's play, it seemed—not the horribly impossible task I once assumed. It was easy, but still just as messy. The blood wasn't as good as the mountain lion, but still held the familiar earthy scent and taste of both rabbit and cougar.

If I had to pick between rabbit and deer, I would pick deer without a second thought. It was more satisfying than the tiny creature and sated my hunger the quickest—enough to keep me full for another few days before I had to eat again. I did, much to my pleasure, fix a regimen. The span between feeding and looking for more food was spent snacking on rabbits, which I spaced out graciously.

But as the weeks filtered by, my hunger slowly begun to stretch out also. My feeding times weren't as regular, or every three days. Instead, I could wait up to a full week. However, if I was in the presence of blood near the due time to eat, I would undoubtedly be unable to hold myself back I had come to realize.

If I had _just_ eaten, I could withstand the burning torment for an hour. It only thinned the longer I went without sustenance.

But I was happy. Progress is progress, no matter how small it is. I'm getting _somewhere_ , even if I'm taking baby steps.

Because of the progress I had made, I was confident that I could make a quick stop at Charlie's house without endangering anyone—simply to check up on things. I wasn't going to stay long, but long enough to know how dad was coping, along with Renee and how they were faring in parenthood. Charlie would know what to do, but Renee would be a lost cause—a first time mother and all. I pondered about my sister, wondering idly on what she would look like.

This brought brings us to the present.

I was a mile out from Charlie's house, my wild hair creating more tangles as the wind whipped past me as my legs carried me forward. I was ecstatic and nervous. Ecstatic because I finally would get to see my little sister, but nervous because of Renee. Renee was the cause of my worries the most, the more I remembered as her blood called to me.

I had eaten recently, however. But I wasn't sure how I would handle her blood if it was accidentally spilled. My restraint, no matter how I had come to rein it in, I doubt I could handle the potency of her blood. Keeping my distance was my first priority, even if I was on the outside looking in. It would be enough, as long as they were fine.

I moved silently, weaving through the trees with confidence and meaning. My feet, despite being bare, didn't hurt as I skimmed across the ground. No rock pierced my skin and no twig caused discomfort as I stepped on them. I didn't earn as much as a small cut, but I wasn't questioning the logic despite my curiosity. Maybe if I came across other people with the same illness, I could ask them what it is exactly that I had caught. It definitely was _not_ a normal cold, anyway.

In no time at all, I reached the small white coloured house and leaped up to the familiar tree I had sat in, many months ago. I crouched carefully, peering through the branches and over toward the large window that lead into my former bedroom.

A small heartbeat alerted me that someone was home. However, there was only one—not three, like I assumed. I cocked a brow, but shook my head.

I listened as an audible sigh broke the silence and I involuntary inches forward to listen more, even though I didn't have to. I could hear perfectly.

"Nah, she's handling herself fine. I'm just really..." I blinked, Charlie's voice drifting softly into my ears. My brow creased a second later, it didn't exactly sound like him though.

There was another sigh, followed by the sound of something crackling and buzzing. There was another voice. "You'll see her soon," more buzzing and static "Don't worry yourself."

 _Dad...he's probably on the phone..._

"I can't help it, Billy. After Anna..." there was a sharp intake of breath and it took me a moment to realize it was me, I quickly shook it off. "I just worry for them. Renee, she's great but Bella is just a baby. She should be at home, not travelling and living in hotels with her mother. It's not good for either of them. They need something more stable because sooner or later Renee will run out of money and-"

"Charlie, relax. I recall you mentioning Renee was headed up to stay with her mother, maybe she got distracted along the way. The woman has the attention span of a squirrel, you know that." I heard Charlie chuckle and I allowed myself a small smile.

"Yeah...yeah, you're right. But still, after what happened, I can't help it."

I scowled, fighting the urge to run down to the house and charge in through the front door. Unfortunately, my mind was elsewhere with the thought of Renee and Bella—so the chances of me acting upon it was very thin. Gritting my teeth, a flare of anger built up inside.

 _So Renee fled with Bella... Why doesn't this surprise me?_

Despite knowing Renee for a small period of time and as much as I disapproved of her and Charlie's marriage, I had always hoped she would prove me wrong. Renee has always been too _sunny_ for my tastes. She craved adventure and tried to squeeze it out of Forks—apparently my dad was seen as something of an adventure and marriage and a baby was going to happen whether I liked it or not.

But as soon as she gets bored...

A growl rumbled in my chest.

Charlie needed her and she left. Part of it was my fault, but that wasn't something that I controlled. I never intended to become...whatever _this_ is. I still haven't given it a name, for my disease that is. But the point is, she left Charlie to pick up the pieces. Taking away Bella would have only made it worse. The only daughter he could see and touch; _gone._

But at the same time, only half my anger came from Charlie's behalf. The other was for myself. I really wanted to meet Bella—or see her from a distance. That much I deserved. Unfortunately, I was too late.

I begun to hate Renee a little more.

I didn't care that she was only a few years older than myself, being young and stupid was never the issue. It was being irresponsible, irrational and too damn scared to handle a committed relationship. She loved the sun, I knew that much—Renee talked about it a lot and it was easy to see she missed it. But she could have easily dragged Charlie with her, to wherever that may be.

Yet at the same time, I knew Charlie and Renee were opposites. He was serious and she was carefree, he struggled to express himself and she managed it without embarrassment.

Renee _couldn't handle_ Charlie.

Months back, I would have laughed at the thought of it. But now, all I could feel was anger for Charlie's stupid, harebrained ex-wife—if that is what you could call her. She didn't deserve him. She didn't deserve Bella, either.

"...this summer?"

I blinked, shaking away my thoughts.

"Renee is bringing her down for a month in July, I guess I'll have to make due with what I have." Charlie grumbled, sighing a moment later. "I wish I could get more time, but Renee is reluctant enough as it is. It's either that, or one week in October. I don't want to push my luck and we both know how slim that is..."

I cringed.

"It could be worse," Billy's staticy voice said, not missing a beat. "On another note, the wife is nagging me to set up a few dates for the twins and Bella. What'd you reckon?"

Charlie chuckled. "That could be arranged. It'll be good for Bells, I don't think she'll like being stuck in the house with me all day." he chuckled once again and I rolled my eyes. I doubted the twins and Bella could do much besides gnaw on their arms and drool all over the place. Sharing their toys, however, is out of the question.

Rachel and Rebecca didn't like to share their toys. I learned that the hard way. All I meant to do was shift their toys out of the way, but I ended up with two sharp bite barks to the hand a second later. Luckily, skin wasn't broken.

I huffed, shifting my position on the thick branch I was crouched on and angled myself away from the house. All I had meant to do was quickly check in and that's exactly what I did—though I found out a few things that didn't please me, I didn't want to push it in case something happened.

Charlie is fine, despite the misgivings. I just hoped everything would turn out better for him, I also hoped I would get better so I could come home. But I didn't know how long that would take.

Carefully, I leaped off the branch and landed on the ground.

With one last glance at the house, I breathed in deeply, before taking off.


End file.
